Falling

PART I


Falling Up. 
Backwards- Sideways. 
Original context brings submerged feelings to the epicenter of my surface. 
Realzing my precious soul scars easily-
Learning intricate life lessons on one long seemingly meaningless journey.
So hurry now, before I'm gone. 
Before I finally notice -
These bruises left on the inside. 


PART II 


Falling Up.
Somehow I find myself dancing in our midnight clouds 
as this misty condensation trickles down my sinking skin. 
Air suffocates my silent scream as I watch life itself vanish into remote vastness.
This is not the way I pictured it. Never in a million years would I have guessed you would be the cause of this lonely contradiction. 


But look at me now. 
Here I am. 


Just *Falling Up. 

Flying

Create me in color. 

Soar across my life and teach me how to dance. 

Learn in me the ability to love with arms wide open. 

Laugh in my vivacious youth.

Trace my heart in distant air and sing me the soft lullaby of your vibrant life. 

Follow me through ornate lies.

I never imagined falling could feel so good. 

But look at me-

**I'm flying. 

Avoiding

I'm avoiding, I know. Please don't remind me. And don't think I haven't already noticed. 

Isn't it strange though? How the  words that flow through my blood stream beating my heart with every breath seem to fail me now? How the very thing that fuels my existence, the raving passion that swims in the depths of the oceans of my soul is suddenly: 

GONE? 

....Why?

I am a writer, this I am sure of. This isn't just something I know- It's something increpted in my DNA. It's been bound within my weaving chromosomes and branded into my heart- It is my Home. That it chooses to fail me now only causes me to question my motives. Am I too exhausted to write? Has inspiration gone on vacation? Do I need to take a break myself? 

Then, the dreaded, ghastly, but unfortunately inevitable question:

Do I even want to write?? 

GASP!!! 

Of the answer to this I am sure- Absolutely. I wouldn't be doing all this over analyzing if I weren't positively sure. Which leads me to another point:

**When has over analyzing ever gotten anyone anywhere?? 

Answer: NEVER.

So then what the heck am I doing!?!? And how do I STOP!?

But then I hear your voice: Let it be. 

And suddenly, it's as simple as that. I've realized what it takes. And I breathe.

 Put down the pen. Empty the trash can of my wasted paper. Throw open the windows. 

*And know that I am free. 

Ready

I'm ready to create with feeling.
I'm ready to move desperate souls into existence.
I'm ready to dance across the sun's horizon & feel the cool
of the moon against my skin.
I'm ready to inspire a world of non-dreamers & non-believers.
I'm ready to be raw & real & vulnerable in every way possible.
I'm ready to get up and just go.
I'm ready to fly.
I'm ready to open my eyes.

*I'm ready to live.